In a featured commentary in Sunday's San Francisco Chronicle titled "My gay son: the human face of church's lack of respect ," the former executive director of Catholic Charities in San Francisco says that the Church's teaching that marriage is "intrinsic to stable, flourishing and hospitable societies" is, ironically, the very reason why gay men and women in committed loving relationships should be allowed to join in civil marriages.
Gay and lesbian couples are "seeking a structure and context for their love, commitment, fidelity and mutual support," writes Brian Cahill, whose gay son and partner are "brilliant, creative, personable, moral … and certainly not 'objectively disordered'" as declared by the 2003 Vatican statement.
Cahill tackles the argument that homosexuals should not be parents, citing the high divorce rate among heterosexual couples and the 75,000 children in California's foster care system who have been victimized by their heterosexual parents. "These mothers and fathers are living proof that sexual orientation is not a reliable indicator of good parenting."
He points out that it is often gay and lesbian couples who are "willing to assume full, loving parental responsibility for abused and neglected children who would otherwise languish in the foster care system."
When the church says that raising these children in same-sex households does "great violence" to them it creates a climate of disrespect both within the church and the greater society, he argues.
You can read the full commentary here .