Are you by chance a hairy, manspreading slob? Or a woman who dresses way too young for her actual age? Or one of those "hyperactive gum-chewing kids with messy hair and dirty hands, checking their iPhones and annoying everyone within earshot or eyesight"?
Then you may want to reconsider your summertime churchgoing shtick.
Or at least check to see who is celebrating Mass if you are heading to a parish in the Roman Catholic diocese of Providence, R.I.