Pope approves gay marriage! ;)

 |  NCR Today

"Vatican City – In a stunning and unexpected reversal of long-standing doctrine, Pope Benedict XVI proclaimed the Roman Catholic Church's unequivocal support of gay Marriage Tuesday, just hours after meeting Stonington, CT couple Tony Ruggiero and Craig Housinger."

So began an article in the July 13 issue of the satirical weekly, the Onion. According to the paper, Pope Benedict was deeply moved after "sharing an afternoon of engaging conversation and hearty laughter with the gay couple." Benedict was quoted as finding them "fun, gracious, and simply wonderful company."

The pope called them "soulmates," and added that "allowing them to formalize their union in the Church is the least we could do for them," said the article.

The papal decree declares, said the Onion, that "homosexual relations between two consenting adults is not, and never has been, a sin"

The story claimed the two met during a routine papal audience and "really hit it off" after discovering shared interests in photography, the piano and Spanish cuisine."

The Onion's sources reported that Benedict was "initially skeptical" on meeting the pair but relaxed after "Housinger spoke a few humorous lines to the pope in his native German and Ruggioro effusively complimented his gold cuff links, touching off a friendly conversation that effectively upended 2,000 years of Roman Catholic teaching."

On parting, both men "hugged Benedict," said the story, "an incident the Holy Father described as 'not even weird or anything.'"

If the two were to exchange vows publicly, the pope reportedly said, "Where's the harm in that? It's not as if they're offending the sanctity of life like those wicked birth control users who will toil for all eternity in hellfire."

The full story is available at: Vatican Reverses Stance On Gay Marriage After Meeting Tony And Craig

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July 14-27, 2017